English for Today by Ganiu Abisoye Bamgbose (Dr GAB)
The Troublesome Grammarian
Friend: Thanks for offering your condolence on my dad’s demise.
GAB: You’re welcome, but we offer condolences (not, condolence).
Friend: Oh thanks! In fact, I was there when the pastor conducted the last rite for him.
GAB: Oh last rites (not, last rite).
Friend: Oh thanks! We are taking his remain to the village tomorrow.
GAB: Remains (not, remain).
Friend: Thanks GAB. We will call the faithfuls to prayer once we get to the village.
GAB: The faithful (not, faithfuls).
Friend: But wait o, are you happy about my father’s death?
GAB: Ah no o! God forbid!
Friend: So why do I have to go through this stress after losing my father? And what about your father?
GAB: He’s no more.
Friend: Oh no wonder!
GAB
