Who is the dupe?
(Grammar palaver)
Man: (goes to a police station) Good evening, gentlemen of the Nigeria Police. I”ve come to make a case as a dupe.
Officer: What? Did you say you are a dupe?
Man: Yes, I am.
Officer: (turns to another officer), arrest this man.
Man: I beg your pardon! Can check up the meaning of “dupe” before detaining me? A dupe is someone that has been tricked so you should be arresting the person who duped me.
Officer: Oga, you get case abi you want teach grammar? You said you are a dupe, and you are saying you were duped. Which kind confusion be this na?
Man: Well, be in the know that to dupe is to deceive someone, usually by making that person do something that they did not intend to do and that person who has been duped is the dupe.
Officer: Nawa o. Anyway, e good say you come complain. At least you are not fighting fire for fire.
Man: Officer, if you deal with people attacking or threatening you by using similar methods to the ones that they are using, that’s fighting fire with fire, (not, fire for fire).
Officer: Oga, you get case abi you dey find students? Jokes apart, I don’t have time for this play.
Man: I wouldn’t come here to play either, but note that you say joking apart, not jokes apart.
Officer: Joking watin? Okay I here. Let us go and arrest the riff-raff.
Man: Oh no! I was duped by just one man and riff-raff means a group of disreputable people.
Officer: But Oga which kind wahala be this na? You come here come carry us play? Oya make we go arrest the tout.
Man: Maybe you meant the lout. An uncouth and aggressive man or boy is a lout. A tout is a person who buys up tickets for an event to resell them at a profit.
Officer: ( calls a junior officer) wey you, lock this man up.
© 2021 Ganiu Abisoye Bamgbose (Dr GAB)
